


Normalcy

by MrsKohakuSato



Category: Hellsing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-11 01:06:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8947117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsKohakuSato/pseuds/MrsKohakuSato
Summary: This is somewhat of Au of sorts. It takes place a couple centuries after the end of Hellsing, where Integra does have a son to continue the Hellsing organization, but only for it to become corrupt and lose sight of what Hellsing originally stood for. But it only started to fall apart, when Old Man Hellsing, one of Integra's descendants starts and causes an all out war.  With Alucard and Seras getting caught up in between the mess.Alucard starts to somewhat resent his nev master, and Hellsing itself because it has turned to into something Integra would never stand for and out of respect and loyalty towards her, he refuses to help, in whatever, Old Man Hellsing aims for, which turn angers the old man.Things eventual get out of hand and everything explodes, leaving london in shambles and the Hellsing organization and vampires being exposed to world, causing anarchy.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is somewhat of Au of sorts. It takes place a couple centuries after the end of Hellsing, where Integra does have a son to continue the Hellsing organization, but only for it to become corrupt and lose sight of what Hellsing originally stood for. But it only started to fall apart, when Old Man Hellsing, one of Integra's descendants starts and causes an all out war. With Alucard and Seras getting caught up in between the mess.  
> Alucard starts to somewhat resent his nev master, and Hellsing itself because it has turned to into something Integra would never stand for and out of respect and loyalty towards her, he refuses to help, in whatever, Old Man Hellsing aims for, which turn angers the old man.  
> Things eventual get out of hand and everything explodes, leaving london in shambles and the Hellsing organization and vampires being exposed to world, causing anarchy.

Depression- what was it? -Feelings of severe despondency and dejection -A basic generalization. Perhaps a more medical, clinical one - A brain disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life. Sounds about right, he mused as, took another swig of whiskey, that burned his throat and chest, on it’s why down. 

Ah?! Symptoms include- what were they again- he consider the topic with more focus, as he popped the cork of another whisky bottle and slowly poured the clear liquid until it reached the rim of the shot glass, that he held onto like a lifeline. 

Guilt ,Apathy, Hopelessness, Anxiety, Sadness, Discontent, Sadness,Guilt,Apathy, Agitation, Social isolation,Sadness, Guilt , Sadness, Apathy, Sadness, Sadness, Sadness, Apathy - 

“I’m out of Alcohol” he murmurs to no one in particular. He peers around the orange, tinted, room, his gaze wandering over the mantel of the fireplace and sighed deeply. He wished he could make a trip down to his room, but decided against, namely because Hellsing soldiers were dispositioned outside the room he was currently and would start a commotion he left, for some reason he found it a hassle to just phase through the floor, he also was against the idea of asking for more alcoholic beverages, his pride would never let him and lastly he couldn’t- no he didn’t want to leave this room, for more reasons than one.  
Well, for starters, it was shield, a safe place from the chaos and anarchy the was raging through the streets, which was ironic, seeing in any normal- or abnormal circumstances, he would have revealed in the rage, hot turmoil that was ravaging both Hellsing and England itself. But at this point he didn’t much care, he was much too tired to give a signal damn about the world or the people around him, not even Hellsing itself, then again it was the current heir’s actions that lead to this disaster to begin with and he just happen to get caught in the middle of it, he thought bitterly, jingling the evaporating ice his cup, mindlessly as he shifted upon the bed he was currently sitting on. 

A sudden knock on the door, caused him to flinch internally, but growled as he realized who was at the door. He didn’t bother answer it nor reply, however much to dismay it opened anyway, not that he should've expected that. 

“ It’s not polite to not answer the door.” The owner of the voice, a old man, with short, groom, fading black hair and crystal blue eyes, leaned against the only window the room slightly tapping cane against the wooden floor.

“ Well, excuse me for not being in better mood.” he sneered. 

He slide the curtains aside, to see the raising and fading of smoke and flames that obscured the sparkling lights of the moon and stars. 

“ What a shame, I was hoping for a clear night.” he sighed heavily, his sullen eyes to sink further in his face. 

“ Should’ve thought twice before you decided to start this ridiculous fiasco called a war.” 

“ It wasn’t!” he snapped his fingers gripping onto the window seal, and dropping his cane in the process. “ I did what I thought was best, why can’t you see that. I thought you of all people would understand. And yet you turned against me!” 

“ I ran my country in the ground! I sacrificed everything, my body, my soul, my people,  
comrades, family, everything! And look where it got me! And for what! 

Silence followed- only the rapping of the wind against the window and the crackle of the fire filled the room. The tension was high and insufferable-neither party wanted to speak first.

“ You should leave.” the man spoke finally, his voice cracking, his eyes never leaving the sight before him. 

“ ….What?” Alucard felt a shiver run up the bumps of is spine. 

“ You heard me leave. Leave me, leave Hellsing, just go, I don’t care where, just go.” 

Alucard was at a loss for words, he had nothing to say, he didn’t move and his gaze never left, the man before him. 

“ Why?” 

The man, known as Old man Hellsing to the rest the world, laughed. He laughed and laughed, but it was devoid of amusement, devoid of mockery, devoid of happiness, it was just bitter and cold.  
And if heart were still beating, if would of stopped at this very moment. 

“ You hate me.” he snarled. “ Don’t even try to deny it despite my utter existence.” 

He wasn’t wrong. Alucard scoffed hard enough to make his throat hurt. “ You haven’t the faintest idea.” his baritone voice low and icy. 

“ I assure the feeling is mutual, Monster.” 

“ Really?” It wasn’t a question. And it wasn’t quite sarcasm. 

“ You betrayed me.” the old man hissed, through clench teeth. 

“ It was a rhetorical question by the way.”

“ I know.” 

“ Why are letting me leave.” 

“ Hellsing can no longer afford to harbor you here. Not now-not anymore, the whole world knows your kind exists now.” 

“ So, I’m a scapegoat. Or you just don’t want bad publicity.” 

“ How would look for Vampire hunters to employ vampires for our cause, it’s “ 

“ Hypocrisy.” 

“ Precisely.”  
“ Then why are letting me escape, why not kill me, now. Wouldn’t having the vampire king’s head be more beneficial to you more than leaving me to my own devices.” 

“ Consider it a final act of mercy, for the friendship we once shared.” 

“ You hate me.”

“ So, do you.” 

The conversation ended.


	2. Musings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inrospection on Alucard's part

Depression was something the ancient vampire was all too familiar with and yet, not. He chose not dwell long in the past nor his muddle-mixed up confusing emotions, so he buried them deep into his subconscious, actively and constantly finding ways to keep his consciousness distracted and occupied, hence the reason he found himself on countless nights and days awake and unable to sleep.  
For starters, he was too paranoid to rest deeply and second, his dreams weren’t exactly his best friend. There was no need to re open barely bandaged wounds. He grumbled to himself groggily as, he slouched on his make-shift bed or chair.

He hadn’t left the room, since Old Man Hellsing left, room service was nice enough to bring blood packs and booze. At this point he didn’t care about the blood, he just wanted to keep himself hammered and unable to think properly which was hard to do seeing that he has a strong resistance towards alcoholic beverages.  
He huffed as he ripped his tie, that dangled pathetically from his neck, and threw it onto the floor, as tipped his head back to guzzled down the brown bottle of bourbon or scott, he wasn’t sure which, his taste buds, went numb to the excessive amount of hard liquor he had been drinking for the past week, and he didn’t much care to also poor liquid in glass, he just downed the whole bottle, like he would water. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------

The world is spinning - how long had he been out- Ugh! 

He stumbled ungracefully out his chair, to come face to face, with his reflection in the mirror. 

His hair was shoulder length, and disheveled and tangled, a faint shadow of stubble was appearing out the bottom of his chin, and creeping up around the sides of his face, his white dress shirt was wrinkled and unbutton and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, he still wore his black slacks and boots- the question was when did he strip off most of his clothing-he couldn’t remember-I look like a hobo. He mumbled to himself. 

“ You look horrible.” a feminine voice entered the vicinity of the room, he quickly picked himself up to send a sharp glare at the offending person or woman in this case who dared to sneak up behind him. 

“ What do you want.” 

“ I have a name, you know.” she quirked her eyebrow in obvious amusement and crossed her arms. 

“ Oh! I forgot, forgive my poor manners. What is it that you want witch.” 

“ What happen to she-devil?” 

“ Overused.” she pressed a gloved hand to her blood-red lips to suppress a snicker. 

“ Again what do want?” 

“ Nothing.” 

“ Ah-huh.” he sat back in his chair again, popping another bottle.

“ Don’t believe me.” 

“ No.” 

“ You read me so, well.” 

“ What do want, Mana? He didn’t bother to look up at the woman before him, his face blank, as he stare, absent-mindless at the glass bottle in his hand.  
“ Grandfather informed me that, he’s freeing you from servitude.” Her crystal blue eyes, those resembling the man mentioned, baring into him. He shifted uncomfortably, feeling the weight of her gaze upon his persons. He wasn’t sure why her scurizing was bothering him, maybe, it was because she looking for something, trying to find something in him to serve whatever twisted curiosity she has about him, to do for what, he hadn’t the faintest clue nor did he care to figure it out. 

“ You two are on speaking terms?” 

“ No.” 

“ Then-how-”

“ Bugs.” she smirked, pointing to the metal, blinking object placed inside her left ear. 

“ Figures.” he took a modest sip from the bottle, as he retreated to his thoughts again. 

“ You really think, he’d tell me anything, if I asked.” this time her usual smirk as replaced with a hard frown, as she clicked her tongue in distaste. 

“ No.” 

“ Why ask then?” 

He shrugs in response. 

“ You look pitiful.” 

“ Are you staying.” he wanted desperately to drift this conversation, away from his already humiliating appearance. 

“ Are you brain dead. You really think, I’m going to stay with a family that I have forsaken.” she was clearly annoyed. 

“ Stupid question.” 

She scoffed, crossing her arms.

“ Are your siblings staying then.”  
“ Don’t know, don’t care. Despite everything that man put them through, they still follow him, believing that they can make amends with him.” she sneered this time, her sharp, crimson, nails digging into the skin of her arms. “ How idiotic” she hissed.  
“ bleeding hearts to the end, I suppose. “ she relaxed her shoulders, as the last part came out, sullen and bitter. 

“ Bleeding hearts, to the end, you say.” 

“ hmmm.” 

“ Nothing.” 

The body of fire moaned, as the last it’s crackle started to dwindle, the orange and yellow of the flames, died and gave birth to hues of blues and greys. Huffing, Alucard picked himself up, stalk towards the pit. He picked a match from the matchbox on top the mantel, lighting and flicking it into the dying fire.

The popping and crackling of wood groaned louder and louder, soon the room was tinted back to it’s comforting oranges and yellows, as he cucked a rather large piece of wood in the fireplace.  
“ The electricity is back on, you know. Then again can’t say the same for the rest of London.” 

“ Your point being.” 

 

“ When are you leaving?” 

“ ….I don’t know.” His gaze, soften, as it shifted towards the bed, or the figure on the bed that was lightly snoring and curled into soft sheets and covers. 

“ She hasn’t awaken yet, I presume.” 

“ No.” he shook his head.

“ I see then.” her voice trailed off to nowhere in particular. 

“ What?” he hissed, irritated by her grave - tone of voice, all a sudden. 

She didn’t look at him in favor of focusing on the corner of the darkest part of the room.

“ What?” he asked again, but with less agitation in voice.  
“ What are you going to do when she wakes up?” 

His crimson eyes flickered towards her slumbering form then back to the flames that warmed his cold body. 

“ I don’t know, then again it’s up to her, to figure out what she wants.” 

Mana sighs heavily, as her eyes clamp shut, preparing herself for the inevitable. 

“ Dracula.” 

“ I know what you’re going to say.” 

“ Then?” she quirked an eyebrow.

“ I think you're jumping to conclusions.” She wasn’t. 

“ Do you really think that. Do you really think that after, everything that went down, that she’s going to remain the same.” 

“ Don’t you dare!” his voice was low, but the venom that seeped out, was evident. 

“ Don’t I dare what? State the truth, you’re too blind and pigheaded to consider.” 

He didn’t answer. 

“ What’s this, no colorful retort.” she scoffed in mock disbelief.

“ Don’t you ever shut-up.” 

“ Maybe, when you stop being incredibly stupid, then I’ll consider it.” 

His shoulders slumped, as he knelt by the fire, staring blankly, as his mind wander. His thoughts were in turmoil, and it frustrated him to no end. He didn’t know where to start, or what to do. Seras was the only thing he left, if she- what was the point, he pondered, he wasn’t the type to fret nor think things through, then again that’s probably why he always ended in up in distressing situations to begin with, he never acknowledge the consequences of his actions, until it was already too late and his plans backfire and blew up his face in the most spectacular fashion.  
“ Not going to start a fight.” 

“ I’m too exhausted to start pointless arguments. Besides what good will it do in the long run.” 

“ That’s a first.” she mumbled quietly “ But you're right, it’ll do us no good to start ranting and raving, now.” 

“ Right.” he really didn’t know what else to say, at the moment, like he said, he was too tired, and partially had no real motivation, to start picking fights with everyone around him, now that everything at this point and time is still in complete shambles. But then again Mana knew how to press his buttons whether intentionally or not. Nevertheless, he and Mana were like oil and water, or more like he was the oil and she the fire to make everything worst, all and all, they didn’t mix very well nor did they see eye to eye on-well, just about everything.  
He wasn’t fond of Mana due to evasive, manipulative demeanor, and had fallen more than once into carefully thought out schemes or played for sucker, as one would say. Not only that he’s pretty sure she hates him, at least he thinks so and for what he hadn’t the faintest clue.  
In short, he preferred to not stay in her company for long periods. 

He hears her sigh and the shuffle of her boots, as she opens the door “ So, what will you do, from here?” a shimmer of the hallway light hits his face. 

“ I won’t leave until she wakes and well enough to decide what she wants to do.” 

“ If she wakes up that is.” 

“ She will.” 

“ And if she isn’t well, what will you do then.” 

“ I don’t know.” he’s been saying that a lot lately hasn’t he. 

“ I see. Well, then I have work to do, call me when she wakes up.” and with that she left without another word, leaving him to dwell in his own speculations and miseries. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He wasn’t accustomed to dealing with illness, largely due to the fact that he rarely fall sick during his time as human and afterwards he had no need to worry about physical ailments, that he didn’t bother concerning himself with it-however, at this moment and time he wished he did pay more attention-

“She was burning up” he murmured to himself, as he pressed his bare hand to her forehead. Not only that her completion was extremely pale-not that wasn’t normal for vampires, yet Seras had more life to her than most. But what worried him the most was her erratic breathing and inconsistent and incoherent mumbling and thrashing in the middle of night, nightmares he noted to himself and yet she still remains in comatose. 

He pressed a wet, ice-cold cloth to head, trying in vain to cool her hot-clammy skin and clean away all the cold sweat that drenched her entire body. “ Why won’t you wake up, Police girl.”  
He felt totally helpless, not just for himself, but also because he couldn’t do much for his draculina other than wait and watch over her and keep her temperature at bay. It was mentally and emotional tiresome to say the least. 

It’s been a little over a month, and Alucard hasn’t as some much left the room, his joints, muscles,everything in his body ached from lack of movement and more importantly sleep and it was killing him, booze could only do, but some much. The urge to just go for a long walk around the manor just to stretch his legs was tempting, yet he didn’t. His need to protect Seras and look after her, override his state of cabin fever, that and the Hellsing soldiers weren’t particularly fond of him at the moment and knew it would cause uproar and panic and that was last thing he needed right, now, so opted for just simply pacing around the room. 

Eventually, he ended up staring at his reflection in the mirror, that stood opposite of Seras’s bed, for no discernible reason other than to soothe his boredom. It was long and thin and stood a few inches above his head, but it was enough to see his whole reflection returned back to him from head to toe. His hair noticeable reached a little ways past his shoulders with his bangs covering his whole face instead of half of it. His shadow of beard was far more prominent now, so was the the mustache. It was a strange sight to behold, his original appearance, it’s been years since he saw this face. Then again he always went on about being indifferent about what he looked like. Well, that may be partially true.  
His white shirt was still opened, and couldn’t remember when had loosen it, but whatever, what did catch his eye were the diagonal scars that adorn his chest. Slash wounds if he recalled. They’re old and somewhat faded, but they were still deep gashes and the missing flesh didn’t all grow back, not that he care, he wasn’t that vain.  
Though he couldn’t remember who, what and when it happened, but again it didn’t matter. Right? However, he couldn’t help but pay respect to the fact that he was incredibly thin which shouldn’t be surprising, but it was.  
Have always been this thin?  
He mulled for bit before realizing why. He didn’t eat at all since turning, so it’s no wonder his body had little to no fat. Not to mention he relied more on dark mysticism and his vampiric abilities rather than actually using bare, brute strength like he did in human years. Sword training, constant travel on foot and horseback, constant war and fighting, who wouldn’t stay in shape, alas he abandoned many of those things years ago.  
He didn’t know why cared now to be honest, like he said before appearance means nothing to him, yet here he is scrutinizing himself in the mirror like some angsty, teenager.  
He sighed deeply-What the hell am I doing? All this silence is making me go even more insane then I’m already am. He mumbled to himself, as he glanced around the room only to be guided back to the mirror.  
His face, in this case his eyes were, weighed down by endless black circles and his bright crimson eyes, were dull and lifeless, likely due to stress and constant worry. He couldn’t remember the last time, that he actually stressed over anything, he was much to confident or arrogant, that fit much better, in his abilities to be sickeningly concerned by about how everything turned, he knew whatever it was would out in his favor. And besides working for Hellsing was rather simple and straight to the point, they gave him a target, he killed it and that was that. No strategies to think over, no thoughtfully planning out position, no directing troops, no giving orders to anyone one, no back plans, no none, just painfully simple hit and run.  
"I’ve been living in the lap of luxury, haven’t I.” he mumbled dryly to himself.  
Yes, anxiety and fretting was certainly not something he accustomed to. Just another pebble to his accumulated mountain of helplessness. 

Absentmindedly, he leaned and pressed his forehead to the glass and shut his eyes tightly.  
“ I'm pathetic, absolutely pathetic.” 

You always will be, runt. His eyes immediately snapped opened, that voice! He grimaced and gritted his teeth, why of all the people he remembered, why did have to remember that man's voice. He was last person he ever wanted to think about, just the mention of his name refused to come to his lips and he resisted urge to claw the inside of his brain out, to stop himself from hearing that all too familiar voice, but despite his pleading and fuming the voice still echoed in his head, like that of a broken record player.  
He wished there was another sound in the room, music, television, he didn't care if was obnoxious, he just wanted something to drown out the voices in his head. Seras, he wanted Seras. He didn’t know why, but he wanted dearly to hear mindless rambling again. When he really thought about, he actually missed hearing her sweet, thickly accented voice. He missed her awkward banter and her little quirky eccentricities. He missed those wide, doe, eyes that habour all her childlike innocence. Those same eyes that looked at him with all the endearment and trust that her heart could give, even though deep down he hated that she willingly gave her heart to him, that despite his cruelty and all the blood on his hands, that she found something in him that she could possibly love, deeper down he honestly, believed he didn't deserve her, she was too good for him, she deserved someone better, someone who wasn’t a monster on the brink of pure insanity, then again after everything that had happened he started to suspect that she was the reason his mind was still partially intact. Without her, he feared what he may he became, she was his lifeline now, as selfish as that seemed, he needed her, as much as he wanted her. He didn’t deserve her, that much was obvious , but he'd be damned if let her go and slip through his fingers. 

A sudden creaking noise pulled him from his private ravine, and light groan followed causing him to snap his head in the direction of the bed, well speak of the wolf. He wasted no time to reach her bed, her eyes were fluttering, after a few seconds, they finally opened. She appeared to be in a daze of some sorts, staring and blinking at the ceiling before registering that someone was sitting near her. 

“ Hey.” her voice was hoarse and mellow. Her sapphire eyes were dull with sleep, and had dark circles that rivaled his own. But nonetheless, she crack a smile at him regardless of her sickly state.

“ Hey.” he returned quietly. A small smile graced his lips, and yet looking at her hurt. It felt like a sharp knife was twisting in his heart. As she beamed up at him, trying to reassure him that everything was okay, when it wasn’t. Her smile lacked any of her usual warmness. She looked so, sullen, so sad, so defeated, and that hurt him more than pain his enemies ever inflicted upon him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If I remember correctly, there some sort of discussion on youtube, I think, I might be wrong, about how skinny and frail Alucard looked and how his body easily gets ripped to pieces, someone pointed that maybe it was because Alucard just simply relied too much on dark magic and his excessive regeneration to keep his body intact and that he much has no use for muscle mass. I thought that was pretty interesting, so I wanted to incorporate that, though I think reason most of the Hellsing Characters look freakishly skinny is because of Kouta Hirano's art style more than anything, but still an interesting concept, nonetheless.  
> Don't worry there's going to be more Aluseras down the line. I just wanted to write Alucard introspection.  
> Anyways, thank you guy so much for reading and leaving nice comments.  
> Also I hope this chapter was more lengthy this time and I hope I be consistent with this series.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I know it's morbid, but somehow I can picture Alucard being an alcoholic, or someone who drowns his misery in an excessive amounts of liquor. Don't worry There's Aluseras in here, I wanted to estabilsh the mood and tone of the story first. I also wanted to write an Au where the world does eventual find out about Hellsing and Vampires, but I also want to write Hellsing slowly becoming corrupt as the centuries continue. 
> 
> Well, anyway thanks for reading and comments are much welcomed.


End file.
